“Talking with your hands, were you?”
Ratings:
Jucy Lucy 3Ambiance: 3.4
THE WARM UP: The snarky waitress at the 5-8 won points with our table almost immediately…since we had been seated for about 90 seconds before I dumped an entire glass of ice water in my lap…soaking guest Lucy reviewer Jerry “The Veggie” Hausner in the process! But cold water on your thighs on a steamy summer day is better than molten cheeze searing your skin not matter what time of year…
LOCATION: Be warned that this joint is a little tough to find unless you are familiar with that area of South Mpls or own Ms.Appleby’s brand of GPS system. Like Ricky Ricardo, you may find yourself accidentally driving right past it on Cedar and unable to turn around for a while. For those of us who were able to make it on time, we were a little thrown to discover that you have to seat yourself. Which doesn’t sound that big of a deal…unless you are trying to seat a group larger than 4 on a busy softball game night and the nice looking deck is closed due to the threat of rain. Then it is definitely a bummer (although “bummer” was definitely NOT the language heard from classy Team Lucy…“Ew” and “WTF” is really how we roll).
AMBIANCE: All of Team Lucy agreed that the ambiance found at the 5-8 is pretty chill, easy, and airy. Our server was pretty efficient, although the rest of the joint appeared to be pretty understaffed for a busy Thursday night. The clean bathrooms won some serious points among most of the Team and the conversation was easy in this open space… this week’s TLC ™ (Team Lucy Conversations) include: Twin Peaks, the gay community in AK, poor public twitters, and boobs as guns (yep, you guessed it… Ms. Carolyn Appleby and Marion…). So, except for the inexplicable and faint scent of urine near the kitchen (which, incidentally, is where a group waits for a clear table), the bar is low key, friendly and hipster free.AUTHENTICITY (“Original Lucy?”) : The 5-8 Tavern claims a long and storied history, both with Prohibition (built in 1928 as a real “speak-easy” selling alcohol illegally on the outskirts of town) and with the Jucy Lucy (or, as they prefer, the JUICY Lucy). The Lucy at the 5-8 has been featured on the Travel Channel on “Man vs Food” and was rated #1 Juicy Lucy in Mpls/St Paul Magazine in 2008. The menu boasts a myriad of awards dating as far back as the ‘90s in an attempt to claim King of the Lucy Mountain.
THE BURGER, THE CHEESE: Luckily for you, dear reader, the Lucy scientists here at Lucy Labs ™ use their burger and cheeze expertise to cut through the burger hype to bring you the real scoop on the tastiness of the Jucy (ahem…JUICY) Lucy’s at the 5-8. One really excellent perk to the 5-8 Lucy experience is the sheer selection of Jucy Lucy’s available…different cheezes, crazy cheeze concoctions, and daily Lucy specials. The CEF ™ (Cheeze Explosion Factor) for most of the burgers at Team Lucy’s table (blue chz, the classic American chz, pepper jack, and even cream chz with green olives) demonstrated a pretty decent explosion on the first bite, but disappointment quickly sets in when you realize that all the cheeze in your Lucy is gone for the 2nd bite.
5-8 Club's Lucy Blue and Lucy Classic
APPS: Aside from the lackluster Lucy, there are other tasty menu offerings: Mr. Ralph Ramsey did get a ginormous salad (tasty) and Jerry “The Veggie” Hausner, our newest Lucy Recruit and resident vegetarian, branched out to try the blue cheeze veggie burger (ok) with onion rings (delicious). The scientists at Lucy Labs ™ were all big fans of the cheeze curds.
THE VERDICT: When sitting down to do these reviews, Team Lucy tries hard to let each Lucy stand on its own feet…but with all the accolades piled (heaped!) on the Lucy at the 5-8, it is tough to not compare this Lucy experience to the far tastier and cheezier Lucy at Shamrock’s in St. Paul. The burger was fine. The cheese is fine. It’s all fine. Just not GREAT! Ambivalence is definitely not the desired state of affairs when looking for the ultimate CEF ™ and Lucy burger in the Twin Cities!! I should mention that Lady Marion rated her burger pretty high stating that the initial CEF ™ was pretty impressive and the cheeze is NON-OILY. Which is good if you are like Lucy and have a tendency for cheeze explosions all over your clothing ensemble.
- Ethel sez: “Unremarkable. Except for the company…”
- Ricky Ricardo sez: “I wasn’t drunk enough to enjoy the utter mediocrity”
- Ms. Carolyn Appleby sez: “Games!! in the bathrooms! You can play while you pee!”
- Mr. Ralph Ramsey sez: “my BLT salad: Lots of “B”. Lots of “L”. Lots of “T”…it redefined ‘salad days’”
- Lady Marion sez: “the best cheeze yet in the least tasty burger”
- Lucy sez: “It smells like urine next to the kitchen”
- Jerry “The Veggie” Hausner sez: “Excellent lack of urine smell…whoa, it really DOES smell like urine!”
